I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
