so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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