Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
