Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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