He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
