My sheets look like a crime scene.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
