Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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