Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
