ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
