I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
