All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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