just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
