Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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