check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
