You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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