go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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