i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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