He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
