maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
