Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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