I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
