just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
