You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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