In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
