the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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