my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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