ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
