Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
