Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
