Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
