: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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