I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
