I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
