She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
