Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
