you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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