Umm I'm too high to move.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
