I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
