"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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