the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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