good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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