wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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