come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
