Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
