saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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