I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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