the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
