i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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