return my video game
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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