I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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