help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
