Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
