i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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